Today we got the results of Brylee's most recent blood labs (yesterday they were drawn). Her counts still aren't the best but they have improved. Her platelets are still extremely low. I'm worried that she'll be getting another infusion on Wednesday at clinic. However, her white blood and red blood counts were high enough that she was able to go outside. She said she wanted to ride her bike! Cory walked her up and down the street for almost an hour. When they finally came in the house for dinner she wanted to sit on my lap. As I was holding her she fell asleep. She was so pooped out for playing so hard after almost two months of not playing. She slept for almost two hours. Within the first ten minutes my legs fell asleep but I didn't move or adjust her for fear of her waking up. I didn't want to lose out on such a precious moment and the opportunity to cuddle my baby. I even cried as I watched her peaceful face as she slept, wondering how much time I have left with her. Years? Months? Weeks? Days? No one knows. There are many nights that I pray to God that he will tell me how long we have. I pray that he'll take this from me and tell me well done. I pray that he gives me the strength to keep going on because most days I feel weak. I pray that I will be the inspiration everyone tells me that I am. I pray that he sees and catches every tear I spill and that he will lessen my pain and heart ache. I pray that this is just a nightmare only to open my eyes and it's still raining. I yell into the storm and wonder if he even hears me at all.