It's been a long time since I've written. And honestly in the past three years a lot has changed in our little household. Bryker is now 8 years old and is at the end of second grade. He still misses his Brylee like crazy and still has the occasional melt down over her. But those melt downs are few and far between. Byrklee is now 5 years old and has surpassed Brylee in age. She will be starting kindergarten this upcoming fall. She doesn't have very many memories of Brylee but we share pictures and memories with her as often as possible. We had another baby and her name is Byrlin. We are teaching her about Brylee everyday. I hope one day she loves her as much as the rest of us.
I think about Brylee everyday. She's everywhere. There's not a decision or action I make without her in my thoughts. I wear her bracelet everyday single day. She's on my phone case, my bathroom mirror, my car window, my jewelry box. Her picture graces every wall in my house. Visitors probably feel like they're walking into a shrine when they enter my house.
I miss my sweet little girl so much. I get told almost daily that I'm the strongest person or the best mother and honestly I'm not. I'm almost numb from it all. I wake up everyday and try to fathom if it was all a dream or if she really existed. I try to invision what she would look like today and how would her little voice sound. Would she be a dancer or a soccer player? Would she still love pop tarts? How long would her hair be? Would it still be curly?
Please...please don't ever think you are hurting me by bringing Brylee up in conversation. I LOVE talking about her as often as I can. It's healing to know that she is remembered. Pleae talk about her. Please remember her. Pleas ask about her. Please ask me how I'm doing. Please visit her at the cemetery. Please don't forget her.
Brylee Olson was diagnosed with a DIPG, an inoperable brain tumor (infiltrating brain stem glioma) on Wednesday, March 6, 2013. This is a blog for her and her fight to be in the 5% who survive 3-4 years. Or the rare chance of complete survival.