Just take her

I can't do this anymore!  Every day is torture when I have to wake up and see my beautiful little girl and know that her time is going to get cut short.  I wish he would just take her and get it over with so I could have closure and move on!  I feel like I'm constantly walking on egg shells, never knowing when it'll be over.  I try to handle it and be strong but I'm failing miserably!  I screamed at the top of my lungs on the way home from school today and started punching my steering wheel.  I can't do this.  I'm weak and numb.  I hate those moments of solitude while I'm driving to and from school because that's when it becomes real again.  I scream at god and the world, I tell him to take her away and stop putting me through hell.  But then when I get home and see my baby I realize I'm not ready for her to go.  I just want the pain to leave.  Brylee don't leave me.